What No One Told Me About Going Home

I landed in Shanghai on a Tuesday afternoon. My parents were at the airport, beaming. The first few days were a blur of family dinners and old friends. But by the second week, something felt off.

I'd catch myself reaching for Google Maps instead of 高德地图. I'd speak in English without realizing it. I'd feel overwhelmed by the crowds and noise that I used to find comforting.

The hardest part wasn't the practical stuff — it was feeling like a stranger in a place I'd called home for 22 years. My friends had moved on. The city had changed. And I had changed too, in ways I didn't fully understand.

Here's what helped me:

1. Give yourself grace. It's normal to feel disoriented. Reverse culture shock is real and it's not a sign of weakness.

2. Find your people. I joined a returnee community and it was a lifeline. Being around others who understood made all the difference.

3. Keep some routines from abroad. I kept my morning coffee habit and my weekly run. Small anchors help.

4. Talk about it. Don't bottle up the weird feelings. Find someone — a friend, a mentor, a community — who gets it.

5. Be patient with your family. They don't understand what you've been through, and that's okay. Help them understand gradually.

Six months later, I've found my rhythm. Shanghai feels like home again — a different home, but home.